So Bruno turned into Mr. Cranky Pants on “Dancing With the Stars” Monday night.
I’m getting sick of hearing him gripe about “you lost your timing over there” and “you missed a step.” Wah, wah, wah.
Looking forward to two weeks of double elimination. There are just TOO MANY couples for this late in the season. Like the planned format: Kicking off one, then having the other two in jeopardy doing a dance-off. That means we need to pick a bottom three. (Read on for that.) And go Taylor Swift! My daughters are psyched about seeing her perform tonight on DWTS. Let’s hope Kayne West doesn’t show up!
Here’s my dance-by-dance recap, in order of performances:
Mya - Cute outfits. This jitterbug didn’t wow me - a little repetitive at times. Bruno loved it, though. He loves her. Do you think Bruno would want to be her masseuse?
Sabrina the Middle-aged Mom - Noted the elegance and good musicality with her waltz. Agree with Len: the other two judges’ critiques were too harsh. Bruno hates her. BTW - what did you think of Dance Nazi aka Mark’s Mom? And what did she call puppies? Mark really needed a haircut.
Kung Fu Chef - A fun, fun jitterbug to watch. Liked it when Lacy lifted him. Full of energy and lots of tricks. Should’ve earned three 9s instead of two and an 8 from - who else? - Bruno!
Back Street Boys Wannabe - They nailed it! The waltz was beautiful, with excellent posture and fluidity. He looked like a young Rod Stewart out there, ready to croon. Could a budding romance be developing between him and Karina? BTW - liked the field trip to the jitterbug club. Is there one in Milan or Olena or Hanville Corners?
Jerry Rice Wannabe - This waltz was worth watching. His facial expressions showed he was enjoying it. The charm and sophistication was there. TOTALLY agree with Len about three people judging it and only one getting it right. And between the three of the paddle-wielding critics, Len’s the only one with any street cred when it comes to ballroom; the background of the other two involves hip-hop and choreography.
Ozzy’s Brat - Great presentation. Lacked some energy, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves with this jiggerbug. A beige blueberry-less muffin she’s NOT. I cringed when Louie talked about her lack-of-confidence problem in the pre-dance segment because I knew Carrie Ann and/or Bruno would look for the slightest hint of that to pick on her following the dance. And sure enough … BTW - my family and I went to the circus last week. Great show. I think Louie should shoot her out of a cannon next week. Now that would be a great leap of faith.
Snowboarder - Had high expectations for this jitterbug and I wasn’t disappointed. Lots of flips and tricks. Loved seeing him do a flip off the judges’ table. Didn’t love seeing him drop Chelsie TWICE. I thought 8s might have been appropriate than 7s.
Younger Swimsuit Model - Good musicality with this waltz by a butterfly flying over an Alpine meadow. She’s got an advance over the other female celebs in that she has the best choreographer as a partner, and possibly the best dancer as well. Best line: “It starts so good and then you do something weird!”
Donny - Second-best line: “What kind of dance are we doing?” He knows how to work a room. That’s for sure. This full-on jitterbug brought the fun factor, if only three 8s.
Mambo competition - Liked the idea. It was a little hard to follow because of the number of coupes. IMO the judges also picked their favorites, maybe not the ones doing the best mambo.
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YOUR TAKE - So, IYO, which waltz and jitterbug were the best of the night? (IMO - Backstreet Boy Wannabe and Kung Fu Chef.)
Who comprise your bottom three (IMO - Sabrina, Rice Wannabe and Snowboarder, with Sabrina going home first and Rice Wannabe second after losing a dance-off with Snowboarder. That being said, I don’t think Ozzy’s Brat is on solid footing.)
Please post your comments below.