Ellen: What are you looking at?
Clark: Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn... the clean, cool chill of the holiday air... an *$@&* in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer...
[Eddie, in the driveway, is draining the RV's toilet]
Eddie: ****er was full.
Clark: Ah, yeah. You checked our ****ers , honey?
Ellen: Clark, please. He doesn't know any better.
Clark: He oughta know it's illegal. That's a storm sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match within 10 yards of it.
Nothing says Christmas like Cousin Eddie Johnson.
You know Eddie? He's the lovable knucklehead in Christmas Vacation, a movie made famous by Clark Griswold. Everytime I see a house plastered with Christmas lights, I think of Clark stapling his coat to the gutter and hanging on for dear life after his ladder falls.
Christmas isn't complete until I see Christmas Vacation, A Christmas Story featuring Ralphie Parker ("You'll shoot your eye out") and How the Grinch Stole Christmas!
With Christmas just one week away, I thought this would be a good time to throw out some random thoughts one final time in 2007.
* * *
We've made the Christmas shopping circuit the last couple of weeks and one thing stands out outdoor shopping centers are the new rage. We've been to Crocker Park, Legacy Village, Easton in Columbus and The Shops at Fallen Timbers in Maumee. Let me say one thing outdoor malls are great during the summer. It's a different story in the winter when the snow is falling and the wind is blowing. Now I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but an idea popped in my head put a roof over all of the stores and call it a mall. Just a thought.
* * *
I see where they have new signs coming into Monroeville honoring the school's state champions the 1984 boys' basketball team and sophomore Logan Stieber, a wrestling state champ last winter. The way it is going, the signmaker will be busy the next couple of years. Stieber, his freshman brother, Hunter, along with Chris Phillips and Cam Tessari, have been on a tear and are starting to put the Eagles on the map.
And how about Logan, who went 9-0 with nine pins? The young man is getting cheated. All of that hard work and he hardly breaks a sweat. Even if a football game is a blowout, you still have to play 48 minutes. Stieber could go the whole season and not see that much mat time.
Good luck to the Stieber brothers and all of the Eagles as they look to add to the championship signs.
* * *
Dane Howard has officially thrown in his hat to run against Jamie Bracken for Huron County sheriff. This has been expected for a long time and now it is official. To say this will be an intense race would be an understatement. We just hope when people start taking sides within the department it won't affect the job they do. We'll be keeping a close eye on Shady Lane Drive the next 10 months.
* * *
Here's to safe holidays for everybody and a great New Year. I'll be in the basement until Jan. 8 back just in time to celebrate Ohio State's win over LSU for the national title.