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From clean dishes to a clean bill of health

By Joe Centers • Jan 8, 2019 at 12:00 PM

It was a strange Sunday evening at our house.

I’ve been married to Jody for 36 1/2 years and together we raised three daughters. The three girls are out on their own, but they do make their way back home for a meal or two. There were four of us at the dinner table Sunday night and once the meal is over, that only means one thing.

Dishes.

And for 36 1/2 years that has been dad’s job. I don’t know why, but I like doing dishes and the girls were more than happy to make me happy. I like to clean up the kitchen and I hate looking at a full sink of dirty dishes.

But Sunday was different. The dinner was over and for the first time there were no dishes to be washed. 

Why? I must have been a good boy this year because under the Christmas tree was a new dishwasher with my name on it. We finally got it installed and it made its debut Sunday.

It was pretty hard. Put in a tab, push one setting then push the start button. Instead of washing dishes, I got to sit down and watch the football game. 

I got a lot of great presents for Christmas, but maybe the most important one was the present I got for myself.

I gave myself a colonoscopy.

No, I didn’t do it myself. All I did was meet with my doctor and set the date. I showed up at Fisher-Titus Medical Center and all of the great people did the rest.

It was my third colonoscopy, so I knew what I was getting into. All of you who have had a colonoscopy know what I am talking about.

It’s the prep kit.

It’s the night before the colonoscopy and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, except for the person who drank that stuff in the prep kit.

It starts about 6 p.m. the day before the colonoscopy. You drink your prep kit cocktail and let Mother Nature take over.

For any of you facing your first colonoscopy, remember the Boy Scout motto — be prepared. Have a lot of reading material close at hand and make sure you stay close to the bathroom.

You get to do it all over again starting at 4 a.m. the day of the colonoscopy. By the time you get to Fisher-Titus you should be clean as a whistle.

The rest is the easy part.

I always get a laugh when I check into Fisher-Titus. The first thing they do is check your ID to make sure you are really you.

My first thought is this: would somebody try to sneak in and get the colonoscopy for me? Now that would be a real friend.

They take your clothes and give you a gown that barely covers you. You get on a bed and the nice nurse gets you ready. After you get the IV and go to sleep, the rest is up to them. When you finally wake up, it’s over. 

The worst part about the whole thing is when they pull the heart monitor strips off my chest and rip out my hair.

So I am good for another three years. I have a follow-up later this month when the doctor will tell me to eat better and get more fiber. It’s something everybody should do when they reach 50. If you have just one new year’s resolution, it should be go to the doctor and take care of yourself.

Remember, the life you save may be your own.

 

Joe Centers is Reflector managing editor. He can be reached at [email protected]

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